About one year ago I found myself in a room full of leaders from various backgrounds, vocations and parts of the country...crying.
They were some of the strangest tears I've ever cried. I was extremely grateful to be in the room and almost equally emotionally frustrated about where I was in life. So there I sat, at a table full of strangers, with tears in my eyes and the only words I could find to describe how I was feeling to my table mates were as follows,
You know the quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that says, "You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." I don't know what direction that staircase goes in but I feel like if I don't take a step I'm about to get pushed down it.
It was this feeling like, "there's got to be more to life than this," but then having no idea of what "more" was supposed to look, feel or be like. I felt like I had to move but couldn't.
I found myself in this room, thanks to an invitation from Awakenings Movement and Folklore Films. It was described as an opportunity to be a part of a community of learners facilitated by Leadership Education at Duke Divinity School. The invite explained that I'd be joining other seekers and igniters and would have the opportunity to share conversation about my life, my work and my questions. And there I was, a tearful mess.
What I didn't know then and what I realize now is that moment WAS a step. Those tears needed to fall and that beauty, wander and gifts can be found in the tense places of our lives if we move into them.
I've spent four days this week with my friends from across the country as we completed the Leadership in Education program here in Houston. This group has been such a gift to me and has confirmed that even if my steps are a little wobbly I must keep moving.
Marlon Hall, Danielle Fanfair, Shelly Travis, Maria Teresa Gaston, Victoria White, Dave Odom and of course my mom who took countless hours out of her schedule to take care of my daughter while working her own six day work weeks - my soul thanks you all! There are many others who have listened, hugged, encouraged and supported me over the past 12 months and I don't know what I would have done without any of you.
I cried tears again when our group said our goodbyes. Tears of gratitude, of awe and of relief.
The thing about a staircase is it goes up and down. If you feel like there is "more" it's because there is. Take a step in the direction your life is calling you to go.
May your days be filled with compassion, your faith remain strong and may growth be your compass.
To listen to the podcasts produced by Awakenings Movement click here or hear the message live during Solace + Serenity at 10 am, every Sunday at 4118 Fannin.
To find out more about Folklore Films and learn about their new home screenings click here.
To learn more about future opportunities with Foundations of Christian Leadership click here.