I recently began offering space in my Instagram stories to respond to questions over coffee. From time to time I receive an uptick in the number of invites I receive to pick my brain over a warm beverage as well as an increase in the number of questions I receive through direct messages. These questions often carry common themes connected to big life questions that friends and acquaintances are navigating and sharing them in a public forum lends to a sense of connection and so I created space on Monday mornings at this virtual communal coffee table for those desiring to have a seat and a heart to heart. I’ve enjoyed reading and responding to the questions and feel a strong urge to respond to many of them beyond what is afforded in an Instagram story frame. Hence, this blog post and what more I would offer in response to the question:
How does one find their purpose in the eyes of God? Or is that a thing? (This person also shared how it seems most people do what they do to make money, not because they’re happy. They also brought up how the church’s response is often “Pray about your purpose.”)
Feel familiar? It does to me because this was me and still is in some ways.
I’d like to offer a few possible reframes based on my experience being the person who went into an office day after day to make money even when the joy I originally had in the work had long gone.
The people you see living out their purpose lived into it first. You can’t live out something you aren’t first willing to go into. This means being curious, experimenting, asking questions, possibly failing and paying close attention to how you feel in certain settings and situations. We are here to grow, expand, change and learn. If your body shuts down at the thought of going into work everyday that’s telling you something and it’s also ripe ground for despair.
At some point you realize it’s all a risk. You can risk staying where you are, which will cost you, or you can risk going into new things so you can live out in a new way which will also come at a cost. Clarissa Pinkola Estes PhD says, “If you are connected to the instinctual self you always have at least three choices. The opposites and the middle ground. If you’re not connected you always think you have one choice.”
Do you have to quit your job today because you’re unhappy? Of course not. Is there some in between? Guaranteed.
Finding purpose is about what you’re doing and it’s also about what’s being done in and through you. What brings you joy? When do you lose track of time? What are you most curious about right now? What idea are you pushing aside that keeps coming back? Spend time with those things.
The eyes of God are not separate from your line of vision. The eyes of God peer out from within you - a mutual seeing that rises up from the heart before it manifests visually in the world. We all carry the imprint of the Divine. We’ve been taught to ignore and suppress what stirs within us internally. Our early life and identity are largely shaped and formed by our external environment. As we grow and mature we are invited to let the opposite happen; to bring what’s in us out. This feels foreign. We’ve been taught that God is somewhere “out there” watching waiting for us to figure things out instead of trusting the spirit within us to guide. Finding your purpose means trusting yourself because your life is evidence that God trusts you.
To pray about your purpose is more than an exchange of words; it’s acknowledging that you, your life is a prayer in and of itself. I understand the general advice to “pray about your purpose” and it also irritates me a bit..ok, a lot because what if you have been praying about this and you come up with nothing? Does this mean God just isn’t listening or we can’t hear? Our life is constantly speaking to us. The thing about purpose is that we learn by doing and we often don’t know that we’ve found it until we look back. (More about that in a previous blog post you can find here.) Pray? Yes. Patience? Yes. Action? Definitely. All things work together. Nothing is wasted. If church isn’t the place that’s feeding this for you right now then expand your idea of church. Sit at the altar of someone who seems to be creating something in line with what interests you, ask if you can learn from them, ask how you can help them. Let their life preach to you.
Disconnect your purpose from a paycheck and get familiar with provision. The reality is paychecks can stop coming at any moment. Businesses shut down. People get fired. Paychecks stop. A paycheck is a source of provision and provision exists beyond a paycheck. Would you expect a toddler to go out and get a job? Of course not. Our purpose in it’s most infantile stage is like a baby, why put all that pressure on it or yourself and require it to pay all the bills? When we make it a habit to see the many ways we have been provided for we move into a flow of abundance and open ways to receive while living out our purpose beyond what we could ask, think or imagine.
If what I've shared here raises more questions for you then feel free to join in the convo on Mondays during questions over coffee in my Instagram stories. In the meantime here are two book recommendations that have helped me wrestle with this topic and a link to practices I’ve created in support of being where you are. Want to visit more in depth with a 1:1? Here’s how.
Books: Living Forward by Michael S. Hyatt and How to Be Here by Rob Bell
Practices for seeding new creation and hearing your inner guidance: Available Here
